One day down, twenty-nine left to go.

Yesterday was rough, though not because of the challenge.

The week had been emotionally taxing, as G came down with the dreaded hand, foot, and mouth disease. I stayed home from work Monday through Thursday to look after him. This actually wasn’t so bad; I managed to work for several hours each day, and it was nice to be home with J and little L, but when your kid is sick you worry, and that takes something out of you. And G’s sleep was quite disordered, waking up in the middle of the night and early in the morning. By Friday I felt like I was just trudging along, just dragging myself forward, and putting in the hours at work that day was quite difficult.

By the time I got home in the evening I had convinced myself that it was time to end my abstinence from alcohol, to do something that would inject a little joy into my life. But I was tired enough that the drinks did little for me. We went out to dinner with J’s sister and her husband, who were in town visiting — a rare treat, as we almost never get to go out in the evening. (My brother-in-law came over to keep an eye on the little ones.) But we didn’t get home until near eleven, and it was midnight before I was in bed. Bad news. The best case scenario was that G would wake up around 6:30, so I was looking at less than a full night of sleep when I really needed to rest.

Of course, the best case scenario did not come to pass. G woke up at 4:00, and it was 5:30 before he had fallen asleep again. Unable to fall back asleep, I instead stole downstairs and wrote for a bit. By the time the sun rose and the house awakened I was feeling quite a bit the worse for wear. My head throbbed, my body ached. It was going to be a get-through-the-day kind of day. My sister was hosting a “Friendsgiving dinner” at her house in the early evening to which we would be bringing a number of dishes, so there was grocery shopping and cooking to do. I had dearly hoped to get in a nap in the afternoon, but somehow, between leaving for the store at 10:00, and heading to my sister’s at 5:00, I didn’t get a moment’s rest. By the time we got to my sister’s I was really bonking.

In what may or may not have been anti-social behavior, after having a couple plates of food, I stretched out on a couch in the living room and closed my eyes for a bit. All around me there was the din of various children running and dropping things and slamming doors and generally having a great time. At some point I opened my eyes and there were four or five little ones, ranging in age from 1 to 3, intently peering at me with the most gently incomprehending eyes.

We made it home around 8:00 and I was in bed by 8:30. I had the strangest dreams overnight, dreams of mathematical figures contending with each other, and woke up at 5:00 feeling feverish. I moved to another bed in a cooler room and dozed there for a while, then moved back to our bedroom after G awoke at 7:00, lying prone on the ground. Everything hurt.

Gradually, gradually, I revived. But suffice it to say that Day 1 was not that great. I don’t think it will be difficult to get through the rest of the day without coffee, and certainly having alcohol is out of the question, but I do find seductive arguments about the utility of caffeine appearing to me. My brain feels flabby, loosely tuned. It sure would be nice to tighten it up a bit with a cup o’ joe.